Where I Am Now
by VulcanCheesecake
Summary: Todd/Kurt Toad/Nightcrawler In which they begin a relationship, but Todd has a dark past...will it come between them, and can it be solved? Slightly angsty in parts.
1. Conversation

Kurt's phone rang; making him jump. Not many people actually called him, so he was eager to pick it up. He chanced a casual glance at the clock. Who the hell would call him at 10pm? It was a Friday night; almost everyone else in the mansion had gone out. Kurt was puzzled but picked up the phone anyway.

"Ja?"

"Yo, Kurt."

"Tolensky?! How did you get my number?"

"You _gave _it to me, remember?"

"I did…? Oh. Ja, I did, didn't I?" Kurt hadn't been thinking about Todd much, to be honest. In fact he had been deliberately trying to erase his mind of all thoughts to do with his friend after he had tried to get closer, been rejected, and roughly shoved away.

"S'what I said, fool."

"Sorry, I haven't been thinking straight after…" Kurt trailed off.

"Yeah, about that. I'm partly calling to say I'm sorry about that, you caught me off-guard. I've liked having a fellow freak for a friend,"

"Oh, thanks…" Kurt murmured sarcastically to himself, letting Todd carry on.

"I don't wanna makes us enemies again. I mean we _are_ in front of everyone else, but we're still friends, right?"

"Ja. I tried to _kiss _you, Todd. When you do something like that, isn't it obvious that you want to be at least friends?" Kurt left out the small detail of 'as soon as I got back to the mansion I locked the door of my room and took myself to a desperate orgasm while nearly shouting your damn name' that was on the tip of his tongue without him wanting it to be there.

"Whatever."

"Anyway, what's the _other _thing you're calling about?"

"What? Oh, yeah…" Kurt thought he heard a nervous swallow on the other end of the line.

"What is it, Tolensky?" Kurt reverted to using his friend's surname when he was annoyed or angry.

"Um…What are you wearing?"

"My clothes. You know, T shirt, Jeans…wait, _what?! _Hang on, I know you have no money so you can't call expensive sex lines, but I'm not gonna be one of them for you. _ You_ rejected _me_ remember?"

"Yeah, and I said sorry. Come on Kurt, you caught me in a bad mood, I _said_. I want to give this a chance…and like you say, bro, I have no money and I really wanna get off tonight. Haven't in fuckin' ages, no locks here…everyone's out tonight…" Kurt smiled, revelling in the fact that Todd was clearly blushing scarlet now. Well, as scarlet as someone with a pale, greenish complexion can get. More of a light pink really. But he was slightly worried that he could picture it so clearly. And a large part of his mind _wanted _to picture this…and more. He caved in to the majority of his teenage mind, cursing and silently cheering all the way.

"Okay, o_kay._ I told you, I'm wearing my clothes. You?" Kurt put Todd out of his misery, and heard a definite sigh over the line.

"Aw, all of them? I took my shirt off. It gets hot in a freezing boarding house sometimes you know."

"Sure it does. And you _weren't _ planning this at all."

"Shut up. And take off _your _shirt too."

"…uh…Okay then." Todd heard a faint rustling of cloth through his phone, and then Kurt came back on the line; spoiling his little image of himself removing Kurt's clothes.

"It's off." Kurt's voice has changed, become more throaty as he absorbed himself in what they were doing. "I imagined it was you here, taking it off for me…" he admitted, before he could stop himself.

"Good. Is your inducer on?"

"Ja"

"Switch it off, yo. I want you fuzzy and blue."

"It's off." Todd let himself imagine Kurt for a moment, half naked and how he was supposed to look. He drew a shaky breath and spoke back into the receiver.

"'kay. Touch yourself and pretend it's me…I wanna run my hands up and down your chest, baby…how does it feel?" Todd's voice had changed now, as he lost himself to his fantasies as well.

"Mmm, Ja, it's good Todd. I want to kiss you…I want to touch you too. How does my fur feel?"

"Your fur? Oh man, it's the best…so silky. I want to feel it on more than just my hands…imagine me kissing you and pressing close to you…on top of you…I can _hear _how hard you are, but I can feel it too…take your jeans off now…you can…"

"Todd…" Kurt could barely speak; so vivid and intense was this imagined scene. On opposite ends of the phoneline, two seventeen year olds were sprawled on two beds, talking over the phone. But in their joint fantasy they were together. Kurt could almost feel the slight weight of Todd, and feel the contours of his back; his spine vaguely visible. He could feel the cool, webbed hands on his much warmer fur, smoothing it down. His own hands moved to his belt, and he urgently removed the rest of his clothes, all the time hearing Todd's heavy breathing in his ear, and soft sounds as Todd did the same. There were no inhibitions now, no second thoughts. This was what Kurt wanted, this was what Todd wanted. "Todd…this was a good idea…"

"Whatever. Why are you telling me this in the middle of things?"

"Dunno…just did…_ah_…"

"Hey! I didn't say you could touch now, did I?"

"Wha..? Don't be so nasty!"

"Wait for it, blue boy…just wait, yo."

"Very well, _boss_." Todd was enjoying the dominance he never got around the other members of the Brotherhood. There was a teasing pause, in which Kurt quivered in anticipation, and let his mind wander over to what he would do if anyone came in right now. He didn't know if he'd remembered to lock his door or not.

"T…Todd…come on, you're killing me over here…"

"Fine, whatever, fuzzy. I was just imagining you with no clothes, is all. You can touch…but use your tail…use the end over the head of your cock…I'm still there remember. So with your _hands _you gotta touch _me._ And you better be good at it."

"Well…I…_ah_…" The mixed sensations were making Kurt squirm.

"What? You never think to use you tail before, fool?"

"No…the thought, it never…" Kurt had the phone trapped between his shoulder and ear, seeing as his hands were busy. Neither of them had opened their eyes; if they did their fantasy world would be shattered, and Kurt wouldn't let that happen, not now they were both so close, he could tell from Todd's hitching breathing.

"Not yet, bitte Todd. I want it to…to last longer, I…"

"If I was there really yo, you wouldn't be able to sit for a fuckin' week after I was done with you."

"Tell me what you would do…" They abandoned their fantasy slightly, and concentrated on themselves. Kurt's sensitive ears picked up the sound of skin on skin; Todd's involuntary moans seemed impossibly loud.

"I…I would fuck you in so many places…you wouldn't get out of your room for a couple of days…we'd do it on the bed, in the shower, on the floor, against the wall…then we'd go to the gardens and I'd fuck you there…we'd do it in the pond I know…I'd make you scream, Fuzzy…you'd be my little bitch…"

"In your dreams, Froggy."

"Who…Who you callin' Froggy?" Todd could barely speak now, his imagination was running wild; his body assaulted with phantom feelings.

"You. Who else?…when you were done…I'd get you back …I'd have you in a tree…you couldn't get up…on the roof…hell, I'd screw you and 'port at the same time…And I'd bite you…so everyone knew you were mine…you'd have so many love bites that you'd look like you caught a tropical disease…" Todd's eyes snapped open when he heard Kurt describe what would happen to him, and it took a huge force of will to block memories from his darkened mind.

"Wha…whatever…" Todd tried to sound as sure as ever, but he couldn't keep a note out of his voice. If Kurt noticed he said nothing, but he said nothing else about being the dominant one either.

"I'd bite you first…people'd see through the fur, I'd make sure of it…I'd love to taste you, baby…" That sent both of them over the edge. With a strangled cry, Todd came, Kurt soon after with a noise that sounded like a cat.

"Dankeschön…thank you, Todd. Can we do this again some time? Can we meet up…we could be…I want to give us a chance…" Kurt had become slightly nervous now.

"Sure," Todd was panting a little. "Free tomorrow? Everyone's out until Monday afternoon. Come round here 'bout Two? It's not as dirty as you'd think. Just kinda old."

"See you then."

"Yeah…bye." Todd put the phone down, and Kurt headed for the shower.


	2. Relations

Kurt didn't know why, but he was nervous. He laughed at himself; how could he be nervous about a guy who could only be described as desperate, and who had called him last night and said all those things? Because he was afraid of rejection anyway. After he'd been rejected so many times because of the way he looked, he began to be afraid that everyone would reject him. He took a deep breath. Not Todd. Todd wants me. We're going to have sex. We _are_, he told himself. Then got more nervous about that. He was still a virgin, and he didn't want it to hurt, but he _did _want it. Another part of Kurt was excited about seeing Todd again. He really liked Todd, and was confident that this was going to work. Kurt decided he would walk to the Brotherhood boarding house.

Todd was waiting for Kurt anxiously, cursing himself for being so soft. But Kurt was the first person who'd ever actually wanted to see him. Memories began to surface when Todd let his mind wander to what they would inevitably end up doing, and a little shiver ran down his spine as he tried his hardest to block them. "It won't be like that. It won't ever be like that with Kurt. Fuzzy's the nicest guy I know. He won't do anything I don't like. He won't. Come on, it's been three _years._" Todd didn't realise he'd said this out loud until he heard a slight echo from the empty walls. In any case, he managed to reassure himself, and carried on waiting for Kurt, idly flicking through the TV channels until he heard a knock at the door. He straightened up and smiled, before carefully removing his grin, and opening the door casually, so he didn't seem too eager. Todd leaned against the door frame and regarded Kurt with a practiced, seemingly half hearted gaze, almost like he'd forgotten he'd invited his friend over, though he was inwardly cheering; Kurt had his image inducer switched off, so Todd saw the _real_ Kurt that he liked more than the fake, unfuzzy Kurt, even though he wouldn't say no to his mundane persona. And Kurt was here to see _him._ "Yo, Fuzz Butt. You came."

"Ja, I'm here…but I'll go, you obviously don't want to see me and…" There was a lot of nerves in his voice, and he began to turn away for fear of being rejected, before Todd grabbed his arm and stopped him.

"Not so fast, Fuzzy, you don't get off _that _easily. You're gonna spend some time with your friend, okay?"

"Ja," Kurt was smiling now, but his nervousness was not completely gone. "I was thinking maybe we could go for a walk. Somewhere quiet, without any people around." He blushed furiously as he realised what he implied, and said quickly, "I didn't mean it like that! Just that I don't want people around to see me like this."

"Cool it, Fuzzy. Calm down 'kay? S'just me. You don't need to worry about offending me or whatever. We're friends, right bro?" It took a huge effort not to just grab Kurt and kiss him hard right there on the step. His nervousness was adorable.

"We're friends, ja. Thanks, Todd."

"No problem. Now, we goin' or what?" Todd stepped out of the house and slammed the door behind him, striding off in the direction of the woods, leaving Kurt staring after him. Todd turned back to see Kurt rooted to the spot. "Well come on then!" Kurt quickly teleported over to Todd.

"Sorry. I'm trying to be calm but…it's, Oh I don't know."

"Look, we'll just take this slowly 'kay? You better switch on your inducer while we're around places people might see us." Kurt obeyed and they walked together, talking about nothing in particular; the weather, what was on the TV, school, food, but they never said anything about what had happened the previous night, even though it had been clear that they both wanted to carry on what they'd started. Only Kurt had been a lot more eager than Todd, and Todd was very casual today, which worried Kurt. Todd seemed happy just to be friends. Without really noticing, Todd and Kurt climbed the hill that overlooked Bayville. They only noticed after their conversations had faded, and Kurt tried to talk about why he had wanted to see Todd. "Um, Todd? I want to say that I uh…want to see what we're like together…as a couple…after yesterday…" he trailed off, his stomach full of butterflies, and noticed that Todd didn't reply. "Will you be my um…that is, will you come with me to the movies or somewhere…" Todd still said nothing. Kurt was suddenly so afraid he'd said the wrong thing, and when he dared to look across at Todd, he almost squeaked with embarrassment. Todd looked utterly shocked. "I…I'm sorry, I should never-" Kurt was broken off when Todd quickly stepped closer and straightened up to his full height

Before Kurt knew what was happening, an arm was coiled tightly around his waist, pressing him into a skinny body, and another webbed hand was pushing the back of his head forwards, deeper onto the cool, smooth lips that enveloped his own. All of Kurt's inhibitions, and fears of doing something wrong disappeared, and he tangled his fingers in Todd's surprisingly soft hair, while he curled his other arm around Todd's back, pulling him even closer. They broke apart, but still held on to each other, and Todd licked his lips, a grin spreading over his face. "…Whoa. You don't know how long I've wanted to do that."

"What?! You let me get so jumpy about it all, when you've wanted it all along?"

"Sorry, it was just actually doing it that was difficult. In the past…" Kurt felt Todd was on the verge of admitting something; he tensed in his arms and his smile faded, but he just carried on after a small pause. "Well, I've had some bad times. That's all you need to know."

"Can we do that again, bitte?" Todd's grin came back.

"Anytime, yo." He kissed Kurt again, softly this time, wordlessly giving Kurt his sincerity and affection. Kurt kissed back, just as softly, returning everything Todd gave. Todd let his tongue slide over Kurt's teeth, stopping particularly at the fangs, which intrigued him and were another part of Kurt that he loved because nobody else had them. Kurt's tongue explored Todd's mouth, and Kurt liked the way Todd tasted. He'd half-assumed, like everybody else fully assumed, that Todd was dirty, and that he never brushed his teeth. His teeth were actually very clean, and he tasted of toothpaste still, and a hint of musk that was just _Todd._ It almost reminded Kurt of being outside, which fitted with the Toad, which was Todd's mutation. Maybe the musky taste was what the slimy substance he sometimes spat tasted like. This time it was Kurt that pulled away, and Todd protested with what sounded like a whimper. Kurt was breathing heavily, but that wasn't the only reason his voice shook slightly. He could see where this was leading, and he was excited, but his nerves came back again.

"Let's…Let's go back to your house, and uh…finish this there…"

"Ah, I get you, bro. You wanna walk or…?" Kurt smiled, and they were back in the Brotherhood Boarding House.

Todd's grin was wicked, as he pushed Kurt up against the wall, kissing him fiercely, while he slid one hand up Kurt's T shirt, flicking off his image inducer with his other hand. Todd started to frantically undo Kurt's belt, but Kurt stopped him, wrapping his tail around his wrists, binding them. "No, please. This is my first time…I want it to be special, not over so quickly…" Todd nodded, and moved both of his hands back up Kurt's body, when Kurt had released his hands, gently brushing his stomach with long fingers. Kurt captured Todd's lips again, and pulled off his shirt, barely breaking the kiss. He raised his arms, letting Todd free him of his own shirt. Todd trailed his cool fingers down Kurt's arm and side, stopping at the waistband of his jeans, then pressed his hands gently into Kurt's chest, kissing him softly again. When they broke from that kiss, Todd stopped and stood still. "What? What's wrong?"

"Nothin' yo. Nobody's ever wanted to do this with me. I'm just kinda having trouble believing it's real."

"It's real Todd. And I'm so glad it is. Nobody's ever wanted to do this with me either."  
Todd smiled and kissed Kurt again. He didn't want this to ever end. Todd moved down and kissed Kurt's neck. He nibbled a little, leaving a mark. "I said I'd mark you," he whispered. Todd bit gently at Kurt's ears; he loved the elfin features, before moving down to kiss his chest and stomach. Todd licked at Kurt's nipples, and was rewarded by hands twisting in his hair, and a tail stroking its way down his back. "Don't stop…don't ever stop…" Kurt arched his back when Todd kissed his stomach, tracing the lines of muscles on his chest with his hands. Todd slid his hands down Kurt's torso, and stopped them at his waistband. He undid Kurt's jeans, without haste this time. It was killing him, but they were going to do this slowly. Kurt pushed his jeans down, and left them on the floor. Todd's fingers dug into his hips as he did something to Kurt that nobody had ever done to him before (which wasn't surprising seeing as Todd was his first boyfriend), kneeling on the Brotherhood Boarding House's dusty carpet, with Kurt leaning against the wall for support as his spine turned to water and his tail lashed from side to side in the intensity of the feelings that ran up his entire body. Todd didn't know if Kurt understood, but he was giving himself up to Kurt, it was in silent worship to this boy. Todd had and would never willingly do this to anyone else, even though he had done it before. When it was over, Todd stood up, and wrapped his arms around Kurt, holding him and kissing his temples, needing something in return.

He led Kurt to his bedroom and pushed him gently on to his bed. "My turn," he smiled, his grin back. Kurt looked worried again. "Does it…Will it hurt?" he was blushing; he didn't want to seem a coward. "It'll probably hurt a little, yo, but I'll be gentle, I swear." Todd sat next to Kurt, cupping his chin. "You'll enjoy it, promise." Kurt gave an uneasy smile, and moved his head forward, trapping Todd in a needy and comforting kiss. When they separated from that kiss, Todd stood up again, and took off his own jeans and underwear. Kurt recoiled slightly when Todd spat a measure of slime onto his hand. "Don't worry, it ain't the sticky stuff. S'real good for this sort of thing." Kurt swallowed and nodded, as Todd spread the lubricant over himself, and knelt back on the bed. "C'mon, get up on your knees." Kurt obeyed, reassured by Todd's tone and instruction. He wasn't being patronizing, just helpful. Kurt's desire and affection for Todd grew. Kurt felt Todd's breath on his ear, then felt teeth nipping at the points again. Todd's wiry arms wrapped around Kurt, his left arm across Kurt's chest, his right arm gently over Kurt's stomach, Todd's fingers spread out in the middle. "Ready?" Kurt took a deep breath and nodded again, temporarily robbed of the ability to speak. He wrapped his extra limb around Todd's skinny waist in a steadying embrace. Todd pushed into Kurt as gently as he could, but Kurt still hissed through his teeth at the harsh, stretching pain. Todd stroked Kurt's stomach when he began to move in a gentle rhythm. Kurt knelt in the same position rigidly as he did. "Hey, try sitting down a bit, y'know…try movin' _with _me." Kurt tried it, and found that he liked it. "There, y'see!" Todd's voice was triumphant when Kurt gave an experimental little moan, and reached backwards to run his fingers through Todd's sandy brown hair. The hand on his stomach moved, as Todd began to tease Kurt's cock, which throbbed with need again. Kurt squeezed his eyes shut when his whole world was focussed on a single point; right there, right then. Nothing else mattered, just him and Todd, joined together. Todd's hand moved in time with his thrusts, which made the heat of pleasure run deeper into Kurt's veins. "Ja…bitte, bitte!" Kurt wasn't making any sense, but he didn't care, the sounds he was making were almost involuntary, and Todd was far from silent. "Yes…ah…" Then with a final, splintering yowl, Kurt coated his stomach and Todd's duvet in semen. The tightening of Kurt's muscles pushed Todd over the edge, and Kurt threw his head back, letting Todd kiss him again, trying to keep the last of his ebbing orgasm. He pulled out of Kurt, and they collapsed onto Todd's bed, breathing hard.

"Yeah, squirt all over my bed why don't you?" Todd said, sarcastically. "Gotta watch your aim, Fuzzy." Kurt laughed; he loved Todd's sense of humour. "Can we do that again soon?"

"Sure. Just let me get my breath back." Todd was smiling. "Damn you're good, bro. I ain't come that hard in a _long _time."

"Were you…were you a virgin like me?" Todd hesitated and blushed before answering.

"Well, no."

"Who was your first? And can I do that to _you _next time, instead of you on top?"

"I…uh…don't like…don't want to…"

"What?"

"Just drop it Fuzz Butt."

"But…why?"

"Please. Just drop it." There was something in Todd's voice that made Kurt quiet again. Todd didn't say anything for a while, and in the silence Kurt moved closer; laying his head on Todd's small chest. A thin but strong arm snaked around him, holding him close, and soon Todd's breathing was slow and rhythmic. Kurt fell asleep too.

When they woke up, Kurt and Todd made love once more, and Kurt stayed the rest of the weekend at Todd's house, not caring what anyone else back at the mansion thought.


End file.
